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12.30.2005
  The New Face Of England
While browsing this fluff journalism, I connected the dots to the new face of England.

Mohammed is now one of the 20 most popular names for boys born in England and Wales.

Its legal to disrespect someones private property, just don't do it to English government land.

A carcinogenic, petro-chemical, that no-one knows the exact recipe to, dissolves cocaine. Pub landlords have no recourse but to take the law into their own hands and revert to chemical warfare to prevent drug-taking in their private establishments. Good job there johnny law.

Apparently the only monkeys the English can find are French surrender monkeys.

Anti-Semitism is always good for a few lines of news filler material.

Humans are born deformed every once-and-a-while and maybe it has something to do with Ikea(not very clear).

Classification according to a criteria is a poor choice. It chould be classified based on what its name is, like the civet cat.

Not only has Prince Charles broke with the Church of England, to be of all faiths, now he breaks with English Comman tradition. We know he broke his marriage vows, what's left for him to break? I hope his hands are nowhere near their nuclear button.

Farting ears are funny, weither from blondes or brunettes. They leave out the true question though: Can you blow a bubble with all that bubble gum through your ear?

If you took all the smarties in the world and layed them end to end and then had to seperate them for all the un-married couples that split up, 16th Century Welsh mathematician Robert Recorde could tell you that "noe 2 thynges can be moare equalle".

The Queen has never been on a computer but she probaly knows someone who has sum of US$ 17,350,000.00 and still sitting in Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it.

In an American court can call a seeing eye dog to testify to his skills in court and thats crazy but the length of your finger does accurately predict your 'criminality'.

'Color' is the most mis-spelled word in England.

Only 36% of the world's newspapers are tabloid. The news is dead. Long live teh News!

yada yada yada
 
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