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10.31.2005
  Saudi Fatwa on sense
The legal opinions proclaimed by Islamic scholars, known as fatwas, have proliferated in the Muslim world since the 1980s. The growth in fatwas - some of them contradictory - has led to debate over who can legitimately issue them. As part of a government drive to eliminate frivolous fatwas, the Saudi newspaper Al Watan recently published one such edict setting out new rules for football. I'm assuming their talking abour soccer. Some fine examples of whats wrong with Muslims.I provide a US translation to each

"International terminology that heretics use, such as "foul," "penalty",
"corner," "goal", "out" and others, should be abandoned." At least I can understand this one. Don't use foreign words, infadel speak is banned like the q and w of Turkey.

"Do not call 'foul' and stop the game if someone falls and sprains a hand
or foot or the ball touches his hand, and do not give a yellow or red card
to whoever was responsible for the injury or tackle. Instead, it should be
adjudicated according to Sharia rulings concerning broken bones and
injuries." So unless you break bones its no foul. Don't try this in Amercian Football or an 7 foot tall 350lbs superman will rip your skull from your neck.

"Do not follow the heretics, the Jews, the Christians and especially evil America regarding the number of players. Do not play with 11 people. Add to this number or decrease it." So any arbituary number other than what the rest of the plays with will be fine.

"Do not play in two halves. Rather, play in one half or three halves" So ignore what the word half means and play three of them.

"Do not do what is called "substitution," that is, taking the place of someone who has fallen." We've seen this one on the battlefield. Leave the dead where they lay.

The short of the article was an easy 11 rules. 7 only there to diffenciate from the west, "differentiate yourselves from the heretics, the corrupted and the disobedient" aka the Jews, the Christians and especially evil America. The other 4 are to strip any kind of international herritage, to disavow foreign culture even though there imitating it exactly. We can assume that 100 years from now we'll have Saudi pimping that they invented football. Beware of imitating their fashion while imitating everything else they do, because this is a practice of the heretics in America and elsewhere. How about a new rule.

Rule 12.

Do not follow the heretics, the Jews, the Christians and especially evil America regarding the way in which respiration occurs. You should not breathe air like players in America or France do, in order to be entirely distinct from the soccer system's despotic international rules, you should breathe water.
 
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